Feel free to prove me wrong, but I swear if you ever see someone in a picture with a smile like this you can pretty much guarantee they are American.
I'm not saying that every American smiles this way (the smile also seems to be much more common in women than men), but it does seem to be very typical. I was inspired to write this post by what I've seen on Facebook. I browsed through the photographs of old friends and acquaintances and over and over, I saw this smile.
The question is, why do we smile that way? Are we trying to prove to the world we have never, ever been sad, not even once? Are we putting on an upbeat mask so no one can see who we really are inside? Then again, maybe I'm just getting too philosophical. Maybe Vanna White was popular just a bit too long. Maybe we've been overly conditioned by "Say Cheese". Maybe Barbie is to blame. Who knows? What I can say for certain is that no German person could ever smile like that, probably not even if they tried. The following two photographs I got after googling "German Smile". They are what you would most often see here (one was even labelled "Shy German Smile", undoubtedly by an American...)
When I first moved abroad I guess you could say I was a disgruntled American. I was pretty angry about the politics and the hypocrisy and the social injustice. I also didn't consider myself a "stereotypical" American. And yet, when I look at pictures the first few years that I lived here, I still had that smile. "Look at you," my husband always says. "You look like such an American girl." (The following picture is from a Russian denistry website called "American Smile".)
Though the smile may have faded over the years, so has my anger. The
fire in my belly has long been reduced to ash and coal and, in its place, I now wear a very thick pair of rose-colored glasses. When I think of the U.S. now, the word that often comes to mind is "Awww..." People are so friendly there. You get ice in your drinks. Everything is not a big freaking deal all the time like it is here. Though my German is completely fluent, I've purposely never tried to reduce my accent. Why should I? I'm proud of my heritage.
Of course, it's not possible for everyone but if you can, live at least a few years in another country. You will see your own culture in a different light. Certain ideas you take for granted or see as being "truths" and "normal behavior" will be tested. You will learn to both appreciate and be critical of aspects you had never really even thought about before. And yes, if you are American, you just might loose "that smile", but in its place you will gain a new found wisdom. ;)
Raising a bi-lingual child is truly an interesting experience. When I first came to Berlin I spent a year baby-sitting a half-American boy who was just a little bit older than my eldest daughter is now. He was very verbal. When I picked him up from pre-school he would say something like "Let's go to the cafe and get some cake." and then turn around and say "We're going to the cafe to get some cake," in perfect German to one of the other mothers. Ok, so it may have been the little kid version of that, but still, his command of both languages was really impressive.
My daughter isn't quite that advanced yet. There are some bi-lingual pre-schools in Berlin, but they are mainly in Prenzlauer Berg in the east or Zehlendorf in the west. But I'm a Kreuzberger at heart and am not going to move to a neighborhood I'm not that crazy about just so my daughter can sing The Itsy Bitsy Spider...Still, it was much to my dismay when she first started to talk and it was only in German even though I talk to her more or less exclusively in English. We spent a month in California over Christmas and it really made a difference. Now it is one of favorite games to come over to you and list off nose, mouth, ear, head...after poking each one.
My favorite words are the words she makes up that are in neither English nor German like, for example, mei. Mei is her word for music, something she likes playing in the background at all times. My mom got her a Wee Sing c.d. for Christmas. Although it was fun to hear little kids singing Five little monkeys and This Old Man at first, by the 20th time I was about ready to tear my hair out. A jazz fan, I started playing Herbie Hancock and Bill Evans instead which, luckily, she so far seems to like just as much as Hickory Dickory Dock. This morning when I was getting her dressed for pre-school she was in a really bad mood. I took a break from trying to force her into her snow suit and put on "You Must Believe in Spring." She immediately calmed down and let out a long sigh. "Mei", she said, with adoration.
Although I like this blog to be a sort of journal of my creative work and processes, part of what forms who I am is that I have lived abroad for almost exactly ten years. Because of this, I occassionally want to write pieces on what it is like to be a perpetual expat (and yes, no matter how much you assimilate, part of you is always "other". But I like this for the most part.) The following text was actually something I wrote for a blog I keep on MySpace about a year ago. I still keep that blog, but it has morphed into a dream journal. If you would like to read some of my wacky nighttime wanderings then click here
That Germany is a country of major hypochondriacs was something I discovered when I first moved here in the spring of 1999. That spring and following summer I had to take a lot of naps, something I wasn't used to having not previously been much of a napper, but I was always feeling so weak and listless that I inevitably lay down some time in the afternoon. In retrospect, I think I was suffering for a major case of homesickitis, but at the time I was seriously concerned that something might be wrong with me. So I asked my (German) boyfriend and he told me it was clear: I was suffering from Kreislaufprobleme. My German not being very good at the time, I was impressed with the ominous sound of the disease and went around telling other Germans "I'm suffering from Kreislaufprobleme" after which they would give me a solemn, knowing nod. However, at some point I found out that the translation for the word was merely circulation problems. Circulation problems?? "Are you sure I have Kreislaufprobleme?" I asked my boyfriend. "I thought circulation problems were something you first get when you're around 70."
"Oh yes. Now go lay down with this Warmflasche (hot water bottle)until you feel better."
As time progressed I soon discovered that just about everyone is complaining about Kreislaufprobleme in Germany. And I'm not talking about people hanging about the geriatics ward, I'm talking teenagers on up. If they ever feel light-headed, weak, tired or generally under the weather then they are sure that it is an attack of serious Kreislaufprobleme. Not that there is any medicine or remedy that will cure these odious Kreislaufprobleme, but it does give them something to complain about which is another widely practiced national past time.
Keeping in sync with complaints that, in the U.S, would only come out of the mouth of an 85 year old woman named Violet, Germans are also deathly afraid of drafts. By drafts they don't mean the cold that sneaks under doors in winter and is, admittedly, unpleasant. No, in Germany a draft is any time the air is moving, even in summer when the rest of us would call it a "refreshing breeze". In the summer, people in the U-Bahn will often close the top window (the cars are, of course, not air-conditioned)and then shoot the person who opened it a dirty look as though to say "do you want us all to catch our death of cold?"
Every American who has been together with a German has had to deal with these hypochondriac tendencies. Still, they do vary in intensity. The only time I've heard my (German) husband say anything along these German health lines was when he told me everyone must always wear a scarf indoors when he has a cold. When I told him how incredibly German that was and how in the U.S. we actually have cold medicine that works (don't get me started on that one)he just said, "Maybe that's true. But it always makes me feel better." Reasonable enough and easy to respect. Still, if, in the middle of an August heat wave, someone said "es zieht" (there's a draft) I can guarantee he would jumped up immediately and close the window.
A friend of mine had a girlfriend from the former East Berlin who was really extreme with this German health stuff. Whenever she would ask her, "Why do you believe that anyway?" her girlfriend would say "Because my grandmother told me so." (Hence proving my theory about the 85 year old named Violet...) Anyway, my friend was open to taking the dirt when she had a stomachache (it clears out the toxins, you see)but she absolutely put her foot down when it came to the red light bulb. She had a cold and her girlfriend told her to shine a red light bulb down her throat. These red light bulbs are completely normal and available at any pharmacy. "No red light bulb," my friend said. I'm not sure if that is why, but they broke up several months later.
Red light bulb aside, my absolute favorite German hypochondriac item are kidney warmers. A lot of Germans are very, very concerned about their kidneys getting too cold so, in the winter, they wear this padded belt under their clothes to keep them warm called, appropriately enough, a kidney warmer. I've tried logic before like "Aren't kidneys covered in a thick layer of membranes?" or "My mother's from Nebraska, which is much colder than Berlin, and yet she's never heard of kidney warmers and is no worse for the wear", but it simply doesn't work. I've decided, therefore, that the next time a German frets that maybe their kidneys have gotten a bit chilled, I'm going to say: "What about your liver? Isn't your liver also a bit exposed?"after which they will undoubtedly turn quite pale and then immediately rush off to consult their grandmother.
fire in my belly has long been reduced to ash and coal and, in its place, I now wear a very thick pair of rose-colored glasses. When I think of the U.S. now, the word that often comes to mind is "Awww..." People are so friendly there. You get ice in your drinks. Everything is not a big freaking deal all the time like it is here. Though my German is completely fluent, I've purposely never tried to reduce my accent. Why should I? I'm proud of my heritage.
