God was really cruel when he thought up PMS. Women already have to bleed once a month from 12 to 50s and put up with the pain and, let's be honest, bloating and gas that go along with it. They have to give birth to children which, by the way, hurts like a fucking bitch. And, as if that wasn't enough they also have PMS....I don't always have PMS that bad, but since getting my period again (you don't get it the first six months if you breast feed)it has been especially bad. One week before aunt flo comes for a visit I'm sure my life is falling apart. This time it was guilt and worrying about money. My husband is the bread winner these days (though I still get money from the German government until April. 800 Euros a month Elterngeld (parent money)which all parents get the first year of their child's life, 68% of your income)and I can tell it is wearing him out a little. He is a freelance lawyer and has good times and bad times when it comes to getting clients. Our plan was that I get to stay home, raise our daughter (and baby x when he or she comes) do my writing and my art(and hopefully start getting some recognition), teach and do proofreading a little for extra cash. But life is damn expensive, even here in Berlin, the cheapest of cheap cities. My father was always bitching and moaning about money. He earned a really good salary but lived in the ultra expensive Bay Area with four kids and wasn't very good at handling his finances (though this last one he would never admit to, but it's true. He's simply bad with money but thinks he's some stock market genius!) "If it weren't for you kids I'd be a rich man," I heard over and over growing up. Because of this I think I am especially sensitive to financial strain and stress. Parents and future parents who might read this, DO NOT EVER SAY TO YOUR CHILDREN WHAT MY FATHER SAID TO US!!! You can't imagine the guilt and shame it creates. You feel guilty for simply having needs. Not good! Anyway, the PMS blew it all out of proportion and I got really pissed off at my hubby. Feeling better now, except my baby is finally getting teeth and is crabby! She is so cute though. Here she is:
On a lighter note, I made a really cute bracelet on Etsy that I am proud of. Vintage flower buttons and a brass chain. I would like to find this one a home, but I will definitely make one for myself. There is the coolest button store one street over called Knopf Paul (button paul). I have also added some photographs to my site, including the main one to my blog here Schaufensterbabe. Only up one day and it's already been looked at 42 times. Alright!
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