Back Home

Yes, as of Wednesday afternoon I have been back in Berlin. They say when you travel across seas on a plane it takes a while for your soul to catch back up with you. I definitely feel like that; right now my soul is probably hovering somewhere above Greenland....Come back soon, darling!

Here are a few culture shock realizations I've had since I've been back, all experienced in an extreme jet lag daze:

1. Berlin is a city full of jerks!

Well, duh. I've blogged about this one before. Still, when you spend a few weeks somewhere friendlier (i.e. almost anywhere else in the world....) it is rather shocking when you are back in the city. People's faces are so closed off, like they have been having a bad day every day of their life and they're sure it only going to get worse. So many of our citizens seem to be bursting with anger and watch out if you make a mistake; yesterday at the grocery store the clerk accidentally called the piece of fruit a woman was buying an apple. "It's a pomegranate," the woman said with force, a scowl on her face. She looked like she was practically two steps away from giving the clerk a sock in the jaw. Not that the clerk was even all that upset because, in Berlin, this is not really unusual behavior. Hey Berliners, lighten up! I'd say take a chill pill, but they so don't sell those here!

2. In Northern California, pedestrians rule the school....

When I was in the Bay Area I saw so many signs that read: Pedestrians always have the right of way. Pedestrian Crossing: Minimum Fine $104. Not so here in Berlin. Today, as usual, some woman totally took my right of way at the zebra crossing. Gee, I'm just some poor slob pushing not one but two babies in a stroller. It is obviously SO much more important that she cut me off so she can speed up to that red light she will undoubtedly have on the corner. Granted, I was cut off by another car (while driving) far too many times in California to claim that Bay Area drivers are the cream of the crop but still- at least they show pedestrians some respect. In Berlin I've actually had driver's SPEED UP if they thought I was crossing the street when they had the right of way (to teach me a lesson I guess....) and yes, as usual, at those times I was pushing the double buggy. Look Berliners, I'm not one of those irritating moms who blocks the sidewalk with their buggy or jams her way through a crowd. All I want is a little consideration and respect. Is that seriously too much to ask?

3. Groceries are so much cheaper here

Lest I fall merely into an anti-Berlin tirade, I can say that food here is a hell of a lot cheaper than it is in the states. In both California and Nebraska I raised my eyebrows at the high prices every time I went to the store; ultimately, it is probably cheaper to just eat out. Yesterday, at Netto I bought some radishes for 25 cents, a cucumber for 69 cents, a liter of milk for 49 cents (and people have complained over the past few years about the higher prices of milk....) The most ridiculous experience I had was at a small grocer near Bodega Bay. All I bought there was a carton of orange juice, a gallon of milk and a carton of eggs and it cost nearly 15 dollars. It was an overpriced place off of Highway 1, but still! At Netto I bought enough food for four or five seperate meals, including a lot of meat, and it only cost me 23 Euros. Thanks Berlin for feeding me so well for so cheap!

To change the subject entirely, I bought a new lens when I got to Cali. Here are some of my favorite first shots, all taken in Alameda, California which is my mom's new home.

A Much Needed Vacation

I'm writing this post right now from my mother's new place in Alameda, California. Three weeks of vacation which includes here, the City (what we call San Francisco in the Bay Area...) Bodega Bay and a trip to visit my grandmother in Bayard, Nebraska. A much needed vacation what with all the stress August brought....

I won't be posting much (if at all) until after the 30th of September, but stayed tuned for lots of photographs and musings on my West Coast/Mid-West adventures!

Seasons

People in Berlin are often telling me they couldn't live in California because they would miss the seasons too much. But we DO have seasons, I tell them. We have winter for about six weeks from late December through January, which means heavy rains and occasional mud slides. We have your odd wild fire every couple of years or so, some of them burning down acres of forests and rows of celebrity beach houses (ok, this goes more for Southern California, and SoCal ain't no NorCal as any Bay Arean will tell you....) We have fog all year round. And we have earthquakes. Personally, I would take earthquakes any day over winter, or at least the leaden-skies-don't-see-the-sun-for-four-months version of winter we have here in Northern Germany.

Besides Berliners, be honest. You don't REALLY have seasons. In Berlin, spring and summer are optional while fall and winter are inevitable. The following photographs are proof of this, taken last week during a rain storm when I was trapped under the U-Bahn bridge at Hallesches Tor for a good twenty minutes. This summer has been cold, then hot, then sickly humid, then cool again (I know, I know. Spring was great this year, so I shouldn't complain but, Hello! People, summer should be summer....)

Still, I have become a true Berliner. When the weather is nice I spend the entire day outdoors, not inside with the blinds shut like we do in California where we take our good weather so very much for granted.

Thank You, Spring

As a native Californian, spring never really meant that much to me. Winter was a few stormy weeks in January and then "spring" came in February meaning the weather was more or less back to being perfect. I know a lot of people who move there from places that actually have weather are always complaining about the lack of seasons. As for me, I'm glad there is no such thing as winter. Winter, and snow for that matter, should only exist in mountainous places where it is beautiful and picteresque and people can go crazy skiing, relaxing afterwards with a cup of hot cocoa in front of a roaring fire. Hot cocoa with those little marshmallows on top. Don't forget the marshmallows...

But I digress. Since I have lived in Berlin I have come to truly appreciate spring. Those last few weeks of winter are so brutal. Everyone is fed up and at the point of cracking. If they have to put that freaking down jacket on one more time, they just might go over the edge. Then spring comes and plants are growing and birds are singing and flowers are blooming. Sounds like a cliche, but ain't it grand!

April is being good to us this year. There is a saying in German, April, April, der macht was er will: April, April it does as it pleases. Sometimes the month can be hellish- cold, wet, sleet and hail. But recently we've even had summer weather.

Spring, here's looking at you kid!

Who am I?

Whether you've come to this blog on purpose or stumbled onto it by accident the question still remains: Who am I?
I am the girl with the camera taking self-portraits. The insomniac who lives to dream. The woman who believes in the power of the heart.



At twenty-five I moved from California where "winter" means a few weeks of rain in January and a scarf is a fashion accessory


to Berlin where spring and summer are optional and fall and winter inevitable.


I've been married twice. Once for all the wrong reasons, once for all the right. The second time was in the San Francisco Court House under a giant Christmas tree covered in origami. My father could be there which made it extra special. He died of bone cancer four months later.






My husband
may be German, but he knows the good in an old fashioned American hamburger.




What do I believe? I believe you are as
much where you came from as where you
are now.




I believe in love and in the family.








I believe in the creative life.

Ocean's pull....

One of the hardest things about living in Berlin is that I'm so far away from the ocean. True, the Baltic Sea is only a little over two hours away, but it's closer to a lake than the ocean with its small, gentle waves. What I love is the ocean's roar, how it pulls your feet out from under you, the mist from its waters settling on your face. The funny thing is, the entire 15 years I lived in California I probably only went to the beach a few times a year even though it was less than an hour away. Now when I go back you can hardly keep me away. Ocean Beach, Muir Beach, Stinson Beach, Half Moon Bay...




Last year, a few weeks after our wedding, we rented a house with my family in Point Reyes Station. The day we drove out there a storm came in. It brought down trees in San Francisco and other places in the Bay Area. A few days later we went to the beach at Point Reyes. Though the storm had subsided, the waves were still wild, more crashing and all encompassing than I had ever seen before.



A few days later I read a sad story in the newspaper: A woman had been walking on that same beach when her dog ran into the waves. She went in after him to try and save him and they both were lost.




I used to think I was only really a fan of the pacific, but in August we spent two weeks in Contis Plage, France. There the Atlantic also had a strong pull on my heart and I love the French way of life. I'm sure, one summer, we'll go back.

California

It feels good to be back in California. I've been here since Thursday and each morning after the intial fog has blown off I'm outside, sitting in the sun, like a lizard on a rock. I've been so deprived of sunshine these past Berlin Winter months and now I just can't get enough. The trip is also bitter sweet: my father is very ill with cancer and, since I live a half a world away, this will probably be the last time I will see him alive. So here I am, in a place so aptly called the sunshine state, the warmth of the rays on the skin not always enough to warm my heart....It's great to spend time with my family though and to have baby Mia hang out with them. I swear she now loves my mom more than she loves me! My second child will be here in October and it's so good to know that he/she will have two families, one in the Bay Area and one in Berlin, as baby Mia does. But sad that he/she will never get to know her grandfather. Both of my husband's parents are dead, so this means my children will only have my mom as their single grandparent. But she's great so they have lucked out. Anyway, this entry is a bit personal for this blog, which is more designed to document my creative life. Life is just too busy stirring the creative pot and I am doing nothing creative (though I do plan to get some writing done). Just tanking up on the sun and spending precious moments with my dad....